Aaron Paige wants everyone to know that he has Asperger’s Syndrome.
The 20-year-old from Marietta says he can walk into a room, spot a person he wants to talk to and the first thing out of his mouth will be: “Hey, I have Asperger’s.” He just wants others to understand.
The impulsivity of Aaron’s behavior is part of his Asperger’s Syndrome but, until two years ago, doctors, teachers and peers had incorrectly marked Aaron’s actions as being hyperactive, learning disabled, or just plain weird.
“I don’t want people to see me as a geek,” Aaron said.
Instead, he yearns for people to understand that his brain works differently. And now that he knows what he is dealing with, Aaron is making strides to do what some people thought he could never do: drive a car, get a job, and ultimately live on his own.
Asperger’s Syndrome was identified by Austrian Hans Asperger in 1944 and seems to be related to the brain disorder of autism. Both show similar characteristics of people who struggle to interact socially with the rest of the world. They tend to create inner worlds and fixate themselves with certain objects or subjects, sometimes becoming geniuses in a particular area of study. Yet, there are clear differences between Asperger’s and autism. Autistic children tend to lack verbal communication, they avoid eye contact and shy away from some forms of affection. Contrasting that, people with Asperger’s are very verbal, sometimes excessively so, and tend to show a lot of affection toward others. In fact, within their areas of interest, it is hard to tell a person with Asperger’s is any different from anyone else.
This makes identifying Asperger’s difficult and it wasn’t until 1994 that the American Psychiatric Association officially recognized the syndrome. Prevalence studies of Asperger’s are therefore limited, the most recent showing that about 0.36 percent of people may have the syndrome. Those studies also show that boys are more likely than girls to have Asperger’s. Scientists are also still unsure of the causes of Asperger’s.
Because of its rarity and subtle characteristics, growing up with Asperger’s is a challenging task for people like Aaron. When he tried to play baseball like other boys, he said his attention would wander and he’d miss easy fly balls.
“That was always hard on me because people would be like: ‘Gosh, what are you doing?!’,” Aaron said. The constant teasing wore down his self-confidence and made it much easier for the teen to stay at home pursuing his few interests, such as computers. His wandering attention span, narrow list of interests and his small comfort zone at home are all characteristics of Asperger’s.
“For many years we didn’t know what was wrong,” said Aaron’s mother, Robin Paige.
She and her husband, David, said it has been difficult for the whole family. Aaron’s older brother, Jessie, 25, couldn’t understand why his brother was so different. Robin Paige said Aaron had a better relationship with his younger sister, Heather, but as she excels in school and reaches the more independent age of 16, it is hard for Aaron to let go.
“One day, Aaron came up to me and asked ‘Is she (Heather) going to be a brainiac?’” Robin said. “He realized she was going to be different than him.”
Understanding that other people are different is perhaps the toughest challenge for people with Asperger’s. Typically in social situations, children with Asperger’s fail to pick up social cues and blurt out whatever they are thinking. They can talk excessively and ask a lot of questions, or even hug strangers just to say “hello.” In Aaron’s mind, this is normal.
Understanding why other people are different than him is as difficult for Aaron to comprehend as it is for other people to understand why he is different, said Bill Bauer, who for the past year has counseled and helped Aaron work with Asperger’s.
“He (Bauer) has inspired me so much and helps me feel better about myself,” Aaron said.
Bauer runs his own counseling and psychiatric services in Marietta and relates well to Aaron’s hardships. That is because Bauer, who grew up with a hearing impairment, experienced many similar challenges.
“I think the world’s major disability is society’s barriers to differences,” Bauer said. “For example, if we all knew sign language it wouldn’t be marked as a disability having to use it.” Similarly, for Asperger’s, Aaron hopes everyone can learn about the syndrome to help him break the barrier of interacting with society.
It’s that hope, coupled with Bauer’s help, that’s driving Aaron to push out of his comfort zone. Using what Bauer calls “self-regulation,” Aaron holds back on his Asperger’s traits of impulsivity and compulsivity, which in turn helps Aaron deal with other people better and raises his confidence.
“This is not the Aaron Paige of a year ago,” Bauer said as the two now eat out every week as part of their counseling session. Aaron is not only getting out of the house, he is working toward getting his driver’s license. He also has a job at the Washington County Home, where he can interact with people. And he is working with his parents to become more independent.
It’s a slow process, his father said, but identifying that Aaron had Asperger’s Syndrome was a crucial start.
“This is Aaron and you can’t just change him,” his dad said. “If we could find the right job for him, he would outperform most people tenfold.”
His dad says Aaron shows extraordinary computer skills, something many jobs require. Yet Aaron’s social skills are lacking and he can struggle to sometimes complete seemingly simple tasks. As a result, many employers shy away from hiring him.
But with his renewed confidence, Aaron will not let that keep him from reaching his goals, his father said.
“Aaron will keep slugging away ’til he gets it.”